I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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