Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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