I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
nutella sex= disaster
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
