what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize