white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize