No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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