i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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