after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
