My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize