Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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