My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
