You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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