Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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