It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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