I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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