If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
