There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize