he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
