You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize