There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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