ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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