Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
