Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
