Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How does one acquire holy water?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
