Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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