i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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