Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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