Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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