the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize