I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
