I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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