if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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