I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
