You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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