Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
