Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
