Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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