ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
