Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
