thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize