she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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