We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize