this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
