so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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