Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
