I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it's like heaven, but drunker
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
