just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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