Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
