i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize