I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
