I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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