your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize