I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
