the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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