I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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