I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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