we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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