You just made me feel so damn special
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
