Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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