I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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