i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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